Perhaps you saw this article and "scandalous" cover of Time magazine discussing attachment parenting. Personally I thought the whole thing was blown way out of proportion. While I buy into some of the theories of attachment parenting, the article made it seem as if all people who buy into attachment parenting philosophies breastfeed their children until their kid learns to drive!
However, I really appreciated this article in response to the discussion stirred up by the the Time magazine piece. I definitely buy into the theory that we all need to chill out and stop worrying about being perfect. And perhaps more importantly stop allowing others to dictate what makes a "good parent."
I found this quote to be especially appreciated:
"Once you refuse, as a mom, to do the things you hate—especially
the ones Dr. Sears or your friends or your mother-in-law says are
non-negotiable—you open up a big beautiful space to the do the things
you love as a mother."
I think that's very comforting since I don't envision myself as the "Martha Stuart" mother. My kid will likely never have a homemade Halloween costume (in fact Itty Bitty will be lucky if I even remember to get any Halloween costumes because I really hate that holiday). While I do make homemade cookies, I only do that about twice a year. I'm not the arts and crafts kind of person and I doubt my kid will ever be scrap booked (I've tried to scrap book and really hate it).
So having said that, I hope I can remember to keep everyone's "good" advice in context. I also need to remember not to compare myself or my child to someone else. Just because that mom loves to make homemade treats and dress her daughter in frilly dresses and the son always has matching everything... well I think I'll just be lucky if Itty Bitty has on clean clothes and I remembered to pack a lunch!
In other parenting news, I've also decided that the media is attempting to make us all paranoid. I've started to notice all of the news articles highlighting the latest "death traps" for your child. And while I doubt I'm going to get any gold stars for my mothering skills, I certainly want to keep Itty Bitty safe. So I read the articles.
Yesterday I stumbled across this article discussing the dangers of bottles, pacifiers, and sippy cups. Of course this catches your attention because even if you plan to breastfeed eventually a bottle, sippy cup, and (GASP) a pacifier will enter your child's life. So if they are a death trap I NEED TO KNOW!!
Turns out that the article is warning about kids who are injured while typically walking or climbing with one of these objects is in their mouth and they hurt themselves. Well duh! The statistic they site is:
Between 1991 and 2010, about 45,000 children under age 3 were treated in
emergency rooms for injuries due to these products, according to a
report in the journal Pediatrics.
6 comments:
My two cents: Your child doesn't care if the Halloween costume is handmade or not. Itty bitty won't care or even remember which bottle or boob or paci was used. Itty bitty won't care if you scrapbooked every detail or Facebooked his/her every move captured forever on the Timeline.
Simply put, Itty Bitty just wants you, his/her mom. Your attention, your hugs, your encouragement and probably your money to. Just be YOU and YOU will be fine.
All three of my kiddos wear two little button batteries on them every day - one on each ear inside those hearing aids that are such a blessing to us. If I stop to think about it I can get freaked out. So I just don't think about it. :)
My goal every day is to be the best mom I can be...sometimes that rocks and other days not-so-much. But as long I am "my" best every day, I have given it all that I can.
The media and books often creat hysteria. When I had you, there were reports that said "breast milk is linked to cancer". What a bunch of hooey!!!
I guess my generation is lucky to even be alive. We didn't wear seat belts, bicycle helmets, knee pads, or biking gloves. We ate dirt because we played outside and made mud pies. We waded in creeks without "swim shoes". We climbed trees, played on non-OSHA approved swing sets and jumped out when we were going high. We climbed on rocks without pitons and ropes. We rode in the back of pick-up trucks on bumpy dirt roads. We played mumbly-pet (look that one up). We slid down banisters and got bid splinters (ask your dad about that one). And yet, here we are!! I know that many of these activities have been deemed "unsafe" but kids will find a way to hurt themselves no matter what mom or dad does to keep them safe.
All you can do is your best. Love them and look out for them. Try to mother them, not "smother" them.
You and Clay will do a wonderful job and Itty Bitty will survive in fine style.
As a child of a mom who tried to make Halloween costumes, but wasn't very good at it (eh-hem... though they were of course made with love).... A store bought Halloween costume beats a bad homemade one anyday..... especially when the kid has to wear it to school when they're in 2nd grade.... I'm still trying to get over that one :)
I also thought too much was made of the article. It did irritate me though. Are you "mom enough"? As if you're less of a mom if you don't do extended breast feeding. Or breast feeding at all. Sheesh! I think the attachment parenting style is fantastic, but you have to do what keeps you sane.
Also, do the kind of parenting you want to do. If you like making stuff, make it. If you like buying stuff, buy it. If you like organic, go for it. If you like pre-packaged easy-to-use stuff, go for it. But there's also room to do some stuff you don't like. I *hate* play-doh. It's smelly and messy and such a pain, but the kids *love* it. So we play with it from time to time. I mean, is it really such an inconvenience to me that I would deny my kids that joy from time to time? No. So if Itty Bitty *loves* halloween and dressing up, then you might decide to indulge him/her. But don't ever feel guilty about not scrapbooking or blogging or making fancy smiley-face lunches. Who cares. Just love your kiddo.
P.S. I actually like scrapbooking, but can honestly say I haven't scrapbooked a single page since I've had kids. Who has time?
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