Okay... actually this isn't a very "itty bitty" story. In fact this is going to be a LONG post. And I am going to try and not be graphic or gross, but we are talking about birth here folks so if you're squeemish, consider yourself warned!
Honestly it's hard to know where to start. Parts of this still bring me to tears and it's hard to talk about. But I feel that telling my story will help me sort through my emotions and heal.
As you know, last week I was 41 weeks pregnant and had 2 false starts with labor that I wrote about
here and
here. So last Monday (6/25) I started to work from home because NO ONE at my office wanted to practice delivering a baby. Imagine that! I also had my 41 week ultrasound scheduled for that afternoon. So Clay came home and picked me up for lunch (Iguana Grill - YUM!) and we went to the ultrasound.
Prior to the ultrasound I had discussed the idea of using acupuncture to induce labor with my midwife Yvonne. (BTW I used
Community Midwife Services and they have several midwives. Yvonne happened to be the midwife on call for me so it's easier if I just use names instead of "midwife".)
Prior to deciding to visit the acupuncturist Yvonne wanted to know what my ultrasound said to ensure there weren't any last minute complications. At 41 weeks an ultrasound is scored on a scale out of 8 for several factors. Any score above a 6 is considered "healthy" and I scored a perfect 8/8. So Yvonne made an appointment for me with the acupuncturist and off we went.
I could write a whole post about the acupuncture experience. I had never tried acupuncture before but I found it really interesting. The acupuncturist was hilarious because when I told him I was 41 weeks and that we wanted to induce he was absolutely positive his treatment would work. So sure in fact he told Clay not to go anywhere because he was going to have to rush me to the delivery room.
That afternoon I also had an appointment with my chiropractor and he too worked on the induction pressure points. So after all that Clay and I went home and had a light supper. At this point I didn't feel like anything really "worked" so I took a hot bath and laid down to sleep around 10pm. At 10:30pm I woke up to my water breaking and strong contractions.
Here's where labor started... Monday 6/25 at 10:30 pm. At this point I have 24 hours to labor at home. My midwives' protocol only allow for 24 hours of home labor once the water has broken due to increase risk of infection.
Clay called Yvonne and within an hour Yvonne, Susan (another midwife) and Taryn (a doula) show up at the house. They check my labor for progress and I'm 1 cm dialated and 90% effaced. This is a bit frustrating because that's exactly where I was last Tuesday. But everyone is confident that now that my water has broken I will begin to dialate.
The next 24 hours pass at the house with me in constant active labor. The midwives were wonderful making snacks, doing loads of laundry and allowing Clay to get rest while they would take turns sitting with me through the contractions. By Tuesday morning (6/26) my labor had not progressed any further and Yvonne recommended another round of acupuncture to encourage dilation since we were "on the clock" at this point. So Clay took me back to the acupuncturist who was pleased my water had broke and we had round 2 of therapy. And we went back to the house to labor some more.
At this point I had asked Clay not to contact any friends or family. After the last 2 false starts I didn't want people constantly wanting a progress update. I really needed Clay focused on me and not answering texts, email or calls. Also, I fully expected I would start pushing at any moment and then we would be able to contact everyone with the good news the baby had arrived and skip the drama in the middle. Finally at 8pm or so on Tuesday I let Clay call my mom and a couple others to give them a status update since we had been radio silence for almost 24 hours.
As the 24 hour mark approached Yvonne checked my progress again and informed me that I had dialated to 4 cm and tried to encourage me that the "hardest part" was nearly over. In the meantime she contacted Dr. Ryan's office and gave them a status update. Through this whole process the midwives monitored my vital signs and the baby's vital signs and neither of us had any indication of distress. Since my 24 hour mark fell so late at night and all the signs were good, Dr. Ryan and Yvonne agreed that I could labor at home until 5am but at that point if there was no baby I needed to go to the hospital.
The fear of going to the hospital was very motivational. I had planned and worked so hard to avoid a hospital birth that I decided then and there I would push myself to do whatever it took to labor at home. However, hours later I still hadn't dialated any further. In fact Clay later told me that they had lied to me saying I was 4cm dialated when in fact I was only 3cm just to keep my spirits up.
When Clay started packing us up to go to the hospital I remember a total sense of devastation. I cried knowing that I had lost one thing I really wanted: a home birth. Yvonne was of the opinion that something was preventing me from dilating and she felt just a quick dose of pitocin would likely kick my body into high gear. Throughout the day and night she had spent hours trying to figure out why my body wasn't progressing and how to help me and we had run out of options and time. While I knew that going that the hospital was the smart decision it broke my heart to have to go.
On the way to the hospital we called my mom to tell her what was going on and a good friend of mine to take care of the house. Since none of this was expected we hadn't made any preparations to care for the animals or the house.
When we arrive at the hospital around 5am on Wednesday 6/27 I had been in active labor since my water broke for 31 hours at the house. Yvonne and Susan had stayed throughout the time and Taryn had to go attend another birth. When we left the house Yvonne accompanied us to the hospital and Susan went home. Yvonne then called in Nikki as the next doula so that I had a fresh person there to help out.
Clay and I could write a whole book on how wonderful the midwives were to have at the hospital. They knew our wishes and knew the hospital staff so they helped check us in and get us settled but also worked to communicate our wants and needs with the hospital staff which freed up Clay to attend to my needs and me to focus on the labor. It was a HUGE blessing. The only unfortunate part was the maternity ward was totally booked so we were put into an out patient room about the size of a small bedroom but we were top priority to get an actual room when one freed up.
At about 6am they started me on pitocin. I did not want the epidural even though I had heard pitocin was incredibly painful but I had made it this far and I was determined not to let another thing slip out of my control. While I had heard pitocin was painful there was no way to prepare for the pain I experienced. I had never imagined labor as "painful" just hard work, and until this point I felt I had been correct. Nothing at the house "hurt". I would get uncomfortable but I was always able to use my hypnobirthing and relax into the contraction. With the pitocin every contraction was beyond painful.
I continued to labor like that for 2 hours and finally I couldn't take the pain any longer. The staff checked my progress and I had only dilated from 3cm to 6cm. Knowing I would have to labor for a while longer I begged for the epidural and had them turn off the pitocin until I could have the epidural. Around 9am I received my epidural and was able to be comfortable through the ongoing contractions. This is also when Yvonne went home leaving Clay and I with Nikki. After hours of her services she was dead on her feet and needed some rest.
At noon I was checked again and had FINALLY dilated to a full 10cm and was ready to push this kid out of me!!! I was thrilled!! I started pushing and pushed for about an hour but Itty Bitty wasn't moving down the birth canal. Keeping in mind my last real meal had been Monday at lunch and that I had begun vomiting with my more intense contractions around 8pm on Tuesday I had nothing left in my system. So the doctor decided to give me some sugar water IV and a few more hours rest.
Around 4pm the PA came in and asked if I was ready to push again. With Nikki, Clay and the PA I spent about an hour in pushing labor. However, again there wasn't any progress. So around 5pm Dr. Willis was called in to evaluate. She had me try a few things and still no progress. Around 5:30pm the senior doctor, Dr. Ryan was called in to evaluate the situation. If it hadn't been so serious there would have seemed funny that there were about a dozen medical staff in a room the size of a hall closet trying to deliver my baby!
The decision was made around 6pm to try and use the vacuum to extract Itty Bitty. They could tell the head was off-center in the pelvis and the goal was to use the vacuum to center the head so I could push the baby out. Dr. Ryan was excellent and told me that if this was going to work it would work in 2 contractions. But that was all he was willing to try it. So they hooked me up and after 2 contractions there was no progress.
Suddenly the room was whipped into a fury of activity. I remember laying on the bed not knowing what was going on and Nikki calmly explaining to me that we were out of options and that the only thing to do at this point was an emergency c-section. All I could do was cry. I began shaking uncontrollably as the staff rushed around to prep me, Clay and Nikki for surgery.
I remember being wheeled down the hall as the staff is quickly explaining what to expect. The whole thing was a blur to me. I remember telling several people I wanted to breast feed as soon as possible knowing that a c-section can lead to complications with breast feeding. Once in the surgery room I remember looking for Clay as they hooked me up and making someone promise not to start until he got to my side.
I remember my body shaking uncontrollably. I shook partially from being cold. Partially from fear. Partially from a hormonal release that often accompanies women at delivery. I shook so violently they had to strap me down to the surgical table and cover me in warm blankets. Finally Clay was by my side and they began the surgery. Since we didn't know the gender we still requested Clay have the opportunity to announce the gender.
At 7:14pm on Wednesday June 27 the doctor lifted the baby over the curtain and Clay announced "Honey its Pierce!" We both cried.
The medical staff took Pierce across the room to evaluate him. I remember crying for my baby. I remember Pierce's little cries as the doctors evaluated him. Nikki took the camera and took pics of Pierce being cleaned up and brought them to me so I could see him. I wanted to hold him so badly.
At this point my body started to break down. I began shaking so violently they couldn't keep me on the surgery table. They finally brought Pierce over to me so I could see his beautiful face and that's the last thing I remember. The doctors had to knock me out so they could finish the surgery. I woke up 2 hours later in a recovery room.
While I was unconscious Nikki ensured that Pierce was placed on my chest and tried to encourage breastfeeding. Clay was able to call family and let them know about our new addition. When I woke up I remember looking around at an unfamiliar room and searching for Pierce only to find him sound asleep on my chest. He was perfectly healthy and happy just to be near his mama.
In the end it turns out a c-section was my only option for delivery. As you may remember my ultrasounds found a
fibroid tumor in my uterus. The tumor was found at my first ultrasound at 18 weeks and it was determined to be small enough and in a location that would not interfere with fetal development or a vaginal delivery. My second ultrasound at 28 weeks confirmed that the tumor had not grown (in fact they thought it shrunk) and was not a problem. Finally, at the ultrasound on Monday the tech couldn't see the tumor due to the size of the baby but from what she could see there wasn't a problem.
Once Pierce was delivered the surgical staff found the tumor to be larger than the ultrasound had indicated and to be located much lower. In fact it was the tumor that was pushing Pierce off center so that he couldn't be delivered vaginally. Essentially I could have pushed for the rest of my life and never delivered vaginally. A c-section was my only option. In spite of the best efforts nothing had indicated this problem and we consider ourselves blessed to have been surrounded by a wonderful medical team and support staff who were able to react to the situation and ensure a safe and healthy delivery for both of us.
If you're wondering if I still have the tumor... yes I do. When the problem was recognized we asked if they were going to remove it (since we were already having surgery) but the doctor was fearful that removing the tumor would cause me to bleed out since my body had already undergone so much and sustained so much damage. So I still have the tumor. If in the future it begins to give me problems I will have another surgery. But for now it stays.
A couple of other interesting observations. Since Clay and I didn't know the gender and we had such an odyssey of labor, the hospital staff really seemed to gravitate towards our story. And even though my c-section took place right around shift change nearly all of the staff that we had met over the course of the day hung around just to find out if we had a boy or a girl.
Also I highly recommend any expecting family to consider adding a doula or midwife to their birth plan even if you plan to deliver at a hospital. I'll post more on this later but Clay and I saw the benefits of having our own advocate in a very overwhelming situation.
So without further ado... here are a few pics of our baby!
Pierce Dennis Dwyer was born June 27, 2012 at 7:14pm.
He weighed 7lbs 3oz and was 20 inches long.
Mama & baby
One proud papa!
Our Itty Bitty Family!
